Should you treat your love life like a diet?
Tuesday, May 29, 2018 IST
The quest for finding a suitable/right partner is sometimes a journey that takes you to hell and back. There’s an unwritten rule that says one has to kiss many frogs before they find their prince/princess. While that may sound like the ending of a fairytale, far removed from reality. It echoes a truth that’s based on some sound advice. It simply alludes to the fact that we often have to test waters in our search for someone who is compatible and who can partner us through life’s many ups and downs.
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Don’t settle for Cheetos, when you can have rosy apples
Joanna Coles a former editor of Cosmopolitan and Marie Claire and current chief content officer for Hearst Magazines in her new book Love Rules: How to Find a Real Relationship in a Digital World, makes an interesting analogy of love to health.
“I hope to do for relationships what (Michael) Pollan did for food,” to help women find their way to the apples and almonds (that nourishing, supportive relationship) rather than settling for the Little Debbie snack cakes or Cheetos (that hookup that might feel good in the moment but lacks substance). Coles approaches the quest for love the same way a dieter might approach eating right and getting in shape: by setting a realistic ideal weight, then eating right and exercising to get there. And as practical as that may sound. Can this approach steer you away from heartbreak and actually put you on the right course to finding a stable, loving relationship? That’s the question we posed to mental health experts. Here’s what they had to say.
Can the dieting approach work?
Clinical psychologist Seema Hingorrany believes it’s something women should consider, especially if they have been victims of dysfunctional relationships. She says, “I second Coles analogy and believe it’s high time women start looking for relationships that are good for their physical and mental health. So, many women are in dysfunctional relationships, which leave them totally drained. Her drawing parallels with the way we diet can be taken as a good analogy. It’s important that we all have partners who value and cherish us as everyone deserves a healthy relationship.”
Learning to pick healthy by avoiding junk
Being conscious about what’s good for you and what’s bad can help you break away from the pattern of dysfunctional relationships. This knowledge can help you weed out the bad influences and temptations just like junk food. Hence, it’s a great idea says psychiatrist Dr Hemant Mittal. He adds, “Ultimately, one starts working towards become free from these bad choices. This then helps one swift through the good and bad, avoiding junk love.”
Where all else has failed, looking at your love life like a diet can probably help bring about a much needed transformation on different levels. In the end our choices determine who we are and who we end up with, if we can learn to correct the bad choices we are making it could ultimately put us on a course that leads to happiness and stablity.
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