When faced with a problem, do we become defensive, self-protective, and blame others, or do we use obstacles as opportunities to become stronger, to learn, and to expand? Meditation is a process of expanding our awareness. Through meditation, we discover deep within ourselves the soul qualities of peace, calmness, and love — and an underlying joy that doesn’t change under any circumstances.
This expansion of consciousness is the essence of spiritual growth, and our relationships can be an excellent catalyst in that process. When we nurture these expanded states in ourselves and in others, profound changes can happen in our relationships. Instead of demanding, even subconsciously, that others fulfil our ‘needs,’ we can rest in the inner fulfilment and contentment we experience in a meditative state. Thus cooperation replaces competition, and the joy of mutual giving replaces the tension of reciprocating demands. A great sense of relaxation comes as we realise that relationships are given to us primarily to help us learn and grow, especially in our ability to accept and to love. Relationships lived in this manner hold the promise of deep fulfilment. The following elements build strong, healthy relationships:
Communication: Learn to really listen to your partner and friends. The more you listen to the thoughts and feelings behind the words, the more you will begin to commune in your communication. For partners, deep communication is strengthened if you can share times of silence together, and even more if you meditate together.
Try to bring out the best: Unrealistic expectations are poison for relationships. It is only you, not others, who can make you happy or sad. The fewer demands you make, the better. If you want a person to change, don’t criticise what is wrong. Instead, create a ‘magnetic opening’ by modelling the right behaviour. True intimacy develops only in an atmosphere of trust. When people feel secure, they are able to change.