If you’re here, you’re clearly wondering if demisexuality really exists. You might have known sexual and asexual since those biology classes in school but what is demisexual? Let’s find out.
Demisexuality is within the asexuality spectrum and is used to describe a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional bond with someone.
Most of us have become fickle in relationships as time goes by and commitment today is a gift, for those who feel grounded enough to not move on to the next one at the drop of a hat. Even when we see our friends discuss the opposite sex and how someone’s good looks, baritone voice, long legs or even the shape of their bodies (read: good physique or an hourglass figure), set their hearts aflutter, we go with the flow, because it’s totally normal to have these discussions amidst friends. But have you ever found yourself feeling like a misfit in the midst of all this talk? Then you’re not alone, even if it might feel so in that moment.
Demisexuals don’t have an incomplete or half-sexuality, and it also doesn’t mean that there can be no sexual connection without an emotional bond. However, a demisexual experiences sexual attraction and desire, mostly when they connect well with another person, emotionally, which helps them decide whom to go the distance with.
Here are a few signs to tell you that you’re probably a demisexual:
The idea of sex doesn’t necessarily turn you on
You find sex a physical bond which happens after a strong emotional bond has been established. You don’t just get turned on at the idea of having sex with someone.
Sleeping together with someone entices you more than making love
You love the idea of melting in someone’s arms and staying that way for a long time than just making love for those few minutes and then going to your respective side of the bed. Sleeping together for you doesn’t necessarily involve having sex.
You like to be friends first before rushing into a relationship
You have to be friends first with the person you go out with, and eventually settle down with. Being a demisexual, when you say you’re just ‘good friends’ with someone, you mean it.