Are scores in school – my true identity?
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Recently 10th grade results were out and I happen to attend a felicitation programme of achievers at my daughter’s school.
 

 

And one thing that struck me is that parents are always in a space where they compare their kids with others and pressurize for performance.
 
Parents have exposure to see hundreds of kids and worst things is they also know who is doing what and how….so comparing scores becomes the bottom line…
 
However, kids don’t have that exposure, they are never provided a platform where they would be given a chance to rate and compare their parents and then pressurize them to be better parents.
 
But the moment they are out in the world and are exposed to parents of friends, distant relatives, colleagues or for that matter, any parent, they do the same thing, what their parents did to them… They compare..
 
They compare their own parents to the parents of others and develop such feelings, emotions and thoughts, which must have been lying latent in them, but gain the striking flint because of this exposure, they may develop feelings of hatred, frustration and ridicule or feelings of more trust, faith and security.. Whatever the case may be, like I said earlier, everything has two sides in it, as we live in a world of duality.
 
If the feelings and emotions are positive, it is good for both, but If it’s the other way round, then imagine the void which is created between the two, not because of fault of parents or children likewise, but fault of comparison…like parents are unique to a child, and I have always heard parents saying to their children, “you will not get a better father than me or a better mother than me”, whoever may be saying this.
 
Why can’t this trend be broken..
 
I was travelling in metro a few days ago and beside me was seated a mother and her son, seemed like his 10th results were out, both mother and son were in a terrible and frustrated conversation, one blaming the other for the misfortunes of life.  It was very deplorable to hear all this, and imagine the void between the two, that even a public place couldn’t be spared..
 
Likewise few days ago I heard someone saying to his parent,  “why can’t you earn more?”.
 
We are not realizing today that we are caught in a vicious circle. Our parents made us educated with a single minded focus that we should be able to earn good, they made their first house at the age of 65 or 70, so we should not be doing the same mistake, and see whats happening due to this belief.
 
We grew up and made our own houses at the age of 30, because of good education and all modern facilities and left our parents in their own houses. This mindset, not only broke down the joint family system, but also the very basic foundation of humanity, ie a home for all.
 
Coming back to the notion of income potential, do we really have a yardstick to measure the earning potential of anyone?? Then how can there be a yardstick of good education or good scoring?
 
When I visit local courts in my area sometimes as part of my profession, I see so many lawyers flanking outside the court looking for prospective business from people crossing that area.. The situation is not different from a vegetable vendor who keeps making loud noise about the vegetables he is selling to attract passers by… Sometimes I am given to think that the lawyer standing outside the court premises and lawyers with established practice, both undergo the same study course or curriculum, yet one is earning more than the other.. And this is true in any profession whatsoever.. Isn’t it?
 
Like a struggling actor may not be doing good now but when he gets a project which gives him due recognition, he becomes famous and his earning capacity has no limit… Hence, no one can ever know or judge the earning capacity of anyone.
 
From this standpoint, I believe, there is no distinction between a parent and a child..
 
We never know when will our kids come out with flying colours and when are they fairing average….as parents we are just required to aid them in their development, which is a very natural phenomena granted by universe… Even if we don’t do anything for them today, they will grow up…
 
Like parents do the best thing possible within their means for the kids…. Even children do their best given the set of capability they are endowed with. But parents don’t realise, because they wear the glasses of comparison.
 
One exam cannot be given too much of importance that it diminishes the value of life…

 

As per Buddhist perspective, nurturing and education to the future generations is not to make them capable of earning, but to enrich them with knowledge, wisdom and a capacity to think and reason, so that they can create value where ever they are or any given situation.
 
Parents shall cease and desist from imposing their wishes on children completely as they are the hope of humanity.
 
Why nature endowed us with the capability to procreate, so that humanity can be alive and advance towards realization of self, the true identity of self.
 
Have we ever taken a break and thought to ourselves, that where are all the events of our lives are leading us to…
 
At a deeper level of introspection, they are leading us to igniting and awakening of self.. Making us aware of the minutest things around us.. The true nature of things that are around us.. The true nature and reason behind happening of some event or circumstances..
 
When we as individuals are in the stage of slumber.. How can we show the right path to our future generations.. Infact instead of dictating… We should be listening to them more.. Have heart to heart dialogues with them, after all, they are the leaders of tormorrow.
 

 
 


 
 


 
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Prashnavali

Thought of the day

“All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.”
Anonymous