Tao says a man can live for one thousand years if he is deeply relaxed. If a woman and man are deeply relaxed with each other, simply melting into each other, absorbed into each other, not in any hurry, not in any tension, many things happen — alchemical things happen — because the life juices of both, the electricity of both, the bioenergy of both, meet. And just by this meeting — one is negative, one is positive: they are antipoles — with each other deeply, they invigorate each other, make each other vital, more alive. They can live for a long time, and they can live never becoming old. But this can only be known if you are not in a fighting mood. New research says many surprising facts. Masters and Johnson have come to realise that for seventy-five per cent of men, before there is a deep meeting, the act is finished.And ninety per cent of women never reach a deep, fulfilling peak.
That is why women are so angry and irritated, and they will remain so. No meditation can help them to be peaceful and no philosophy, no religion, no ethics will make them at ease with the men with whom they are living. They are in frustration, in anger, because modern science and old tantra both say that unless a woman is deeply fulfilled orgasmically, she will be a problem in the family. And because women are not achieving orgasm, they become antisex. They are not willing to go into sex easily. Why should they be ready if they never achieve any deep bliss through it? Rather, they feel after it that the man has been using them, that they have been used. They feel like a thing which has been used and then discarded. The man is satisfied. Then he moves and goes to sleep, and the wife goes on weeping. She has been just used, and the experience has not been in any way fulfilling to her. It may have relieved her husband or lover or friend, but it has not been in any way fulfilling to her.
The man goes on doing the act as if it is a sin. He feels it as guilt: ‘It is not to be done.’And while he is making love to his wife or beloved, he is thinking of some mahatma — socalled saint — of how to go to the mahatma and how to transcend this sex, this guilt, this sin. When there is no anxiety, they can just relax with each other. Their bodies meet and relax; they enter sex and relax. And sooner or later, sex will not be an excitement. It is an excitement right now.Then it is not an excitement, it is a relaxation, a deep let-go. But that can happen only if you have first surrendered inside to the life energy — the life force. Only then can you surrender to your lover or beloved. Tantra says, never make love while you are excited.This seems very absurd because you want to make love when you are excited. And normally, both partners excite each other in order that they can make love.