These Google searches are plenty – as are ‘quotes about boys being jerks’ – when your best gal friend is going through yet another break up. We all know women who can’t seem to get excited about anyone but a jerk. So yes, it’s true: Some women want jerks. The bigger question is why. Here’s a look into why jerks get women – but why you should still be a kind person, anyway:
The Status
Think back to your high school days. Now shudder. Now remember the guy who got all the girls. Yeah, him. We bet he was a jerk. On personality inventories, jerks aren’t sociopaths — they’re just really disagreeable, per scientific studies on personality. If you want to test your own personality traits, you can look here before continuing.
Back then, high school rewarded jerkiness. Abundant science plus your own experience back this up: Nice women dig status. In high school, status comes from having the quickest wit or the most athletic prowess, or both. All humor is pain redefined. This is why jerks get women: The funniest guy in high school is typically hilarious at others’ expense. And jocks are not always known for throwing their weight around in the kindest possible ways.
The Money
The reason nice women love status boils down to an innate desire: In study after study, it’s associated with a man’s ability to provide and protect. Just as the toughest jock would have made a great protector in the ancient past—where all human mating psychology comes from—women today are drawn to whoever gets them and their kids/genes to survive. In today’s terms, that means money.
Why do girls like rude guys? More likely than not, they have money. Across a series of studies, the ‘jerk perk’ is worth about $10k a year on average, or 18 percent more than more agreeable male peers. They aren’t better employees, but they have no hesitations about putting themselves or their interests forward. And that leads to ka-ching.
The Panties
When you look for quotes about boys being jerks, they likely revolve around some sort of disappointment or hurt thanks to sex. There’s an industry directed at teaching men to be rude—to alternately fake long-term interest, feign indifference, and/or pretend they’ve got more money (or degrees, cars, houses) than they really do. There’s probably something to this; in studies, some nice women admit that when they have casual sex, they maintain high standards for a guy’s high resources. A cocky attitude may in itself tell a woman a guy has the goods, and lying can cover the rest. You might be confused on why do girls like rude guys – but it’s mostly because of their confidence and what they exude. Your job is to be better – and attract a better version of the same nice women.
Your Mission?
Jerks probably do get women more easily in casual sex scenarios. But they don’t get or stay married more easily; they aren’t loved more, or longer. Factually, their lives and loves are crappier—not happier. And studies show that very few men want to play the field all their lives; men and women alike want lasting, true love.
But jerks often lack what it takes to sustain that. In numerous studies, jerks are, by their own admission, less relationship-oriented, friendly, forgiving, trusting, helpful, warm, caring, cooperative, and sympathetic than non-jerks—precisely the opposite of the kind, loving, loyal heart women in 37 cultures and countries say they absolutely require in a mate. Jerks are less well-liked, they have more stress, and they have less happy lives. Basically, they have a little more money, and that’s it. Why jerks get women – they don’t keep them. Here’s how you do:
Put yourself first.
Easier said than done, right? But there’s no escaping it. Until a man feels fulfilled in his own life, there’s no way he can connect in a meaningful way with nice women. However, once he does feel more fulfilled, the qualities of ‘cool’ that create connections with women begin to flow from him almost automatically.
Suddenly he stops acting defensive and goal-tending against perceived threats and challenges. He’s comfortable in his own skin, and it’s reflected in everything from his personal style to his body language. He projects ‘easy-going’ and ‘casual’ instead of ‘tense’ or ‘posed.’ Why do girls like rude guys? They seem effortlessly put together. You might have to work harder to get there, but at least when you do, it’ll be genuine.