Every lady has a certain set of expectations from her in-laws and post marriage when they aren’t fulfilled, the expectations turn into a suppressed desire of controlling others. Soon, the once suppressed desire becomes overpowering and the unaware soul gets to hear – “Ajkal ki ladkiyan (especially Bahu) have no respect left for elders.”
According to me, it is not that ajkal ki ladkiyan have no respect for elders but elders too need to respect our choices, the choices of bahus. I, myself have said it in my head a million times, “If you cannot give me my due space, why did you get your son married to me?”
I am sure, every bahu must have thought of this at least once in her lifetime and a few bold ones would have said this upfront to her mother-in-law:
Your daughter in law has a place in your son’s life too!
Your son is your son. You were, you are and you will be the first lady in your son’s life but definitely not the only one. Period! He will have friends and a wife, if you are ready to give away that required space in his life to her.
I have not come with a plot to take your place, rather I intend to create my own niche in this family and a special place in your son’s heart. However if just the idea of a special lady except for yourself in your son’s life is unacceptable, then why marry him off?
I am not just a womb!
The only role of your bahu is not to produce babies (a vanshaj for you). That isn’t why I married.
Marriage is meant to be a commitment for a lifetime, to be with each other and share the joys and sorrows of life. Babies are definitely an important aspect of life but definitely not the end of life. Before having babies, it is very important to develop understanding and mutual respect for each other. Only, when we, as life-partners appreciate each other’s role in the life, would we be able to take up new responsibilities of mom and dad.
Your bahu might bring in a new perspective
Why not try them out? Maybe they are good?
You have a rich experience of 25-30 years of handling a household and have mastered the art of managing your home pretty well. Your lifestyle and standards might be the best in class. But however naive, I can bring in a disruptive idea which can prove to be more economical, beneficial and comfortable. Please criticise it with an open mind.
Your son might like something you dislike
If you don’t like it, doesn’t mean your son will also not like it. Most of the times your son’s choices are in tandem with your’s but with changing times his choices may change and every time I am not the reason behind his change.
Every human is different and let’s respect that individuality. Please don’t blame me for everything different or wrong your son does now.