Us women are taught from an early age that we must put everyone else ahead of ourselves. While it might not be something that is explicitly said, it is implied in the actions of most adults we meet growing up. Men and women alike. To think of it, it might not be fair to blame them either. It is, after all, years and years of conditioning that has led to women across the world being socialised as the caregivers and nurturers. But women are a lot more than that and they have a whole lot more to offer. The world has started to see that, and it's time that we women did too.
As women, we are quick to give up on our own passions and identities to accommodate those of the people that we love. But there are some things you shouldn't have to do for anyone, ever. Here are a few of them.
1. Change your appearance
Unless you want to, for your own happiness. Letting a man or anyone else tell you what you 'should' and 'should not' look like isn't something you should stand for. As long as you're happy with your body and with the way you feel, let no one tell you what your body, your hair, your face, ought to look like.
2. Forgo your own opinion
You might be in love and crazy about someone, but that doesn't mean you need to constantly lower your voice and forget your own point of view so that theirs might be heard. In a healthy relationship, there's room for both opinions to be heard and respected. Voice how and what you feel, even if it might not be the most pleasing thing for anyone else to hear. You're an individual with a mind and voice of your own. Never forget that.
3. Compromise on your personal relationships
So you're in a loving relationship with the person you think you just can't do without. Great. But is this relationship going to be the only relationship you'll need and want your whole life? What about your friends, your family, other relationships you might have forged over the years? Do you really think it's worth giving up on all of that to keep this one relationship intact? While it is important to prioritise and know who stands where in your life, letting go of every other relationship because your partner doesn't want you to have them is going to cause you more harm than good. In order to grow and have a fulfilling life, keeping in touch with those who love you, other than your partner, is important.
4. Give up your passions
Whether it means giving up a job that you love, or changing the way you dress - if you're passionate about something, hold onto it. It's important to remember that you had set yourself some targets and goals before you met someone you were willing to give that all up for. You're still that person and while sometimes, it might feel like the right thing to do to let those goals take a backseat for the moment, giving them up altogether will only cause a sense of regret in you.
5. Alter your life plans
You had envisioned a life for yourself, a life that you still want. You want to get married, have children, or the complete opposite. You met a guy who might not have the same plans as you at all. If you think it is worth it and that you'll still be happy, there's no harm compromising on certain things you had wanted before. But if you're sure that your idea of a happy life is not going to change, it might not be worth giving up for anyone.